When parents decide to divorce, one of the biggest decisions they have to make is how they will parent their children. There are two main types of parenting after divorce: parallel parenting and co-parenting. One of the most fundamental elements of anyone’s life is how to be a parent that their kids look up to and want to emulate. Parallel parenting and co-parenting are two different methods of parenting after a divorce.
In order to understand the main difference between the two, it is important to understand their definitions. Parallel parenting is when each parent has their own rules and boundaries that they stick to when around their children. Co-parenting is when both parents come together and agree on rules and boundaries for the sake of the children. There are benefits and drawbacks to both methods of parenting.
Let’s take a look at the difference between Co parenting and Parallel parenting.
Table of Contents
What is Parallel Parenting?
With parallel parenting, each parent maintains their own household and parenting style. The parents do not share information or cooperate with each other when it comes to raising the children. This type of parenting can be difficult if the parents live close to each other, as it can lead to a lot of conflicts. However, it can be a good option for parents who do not get along or who have very different parenting styles.
One highlighting aspect of parallel parenting is that each parent has certain boundaries since everything is separate, meaning thereby that they do not attend the same parent-teacher meetings or school functions. In some cases, the children might not even spend time with both parents on the same day. This type of arrangement can be confusing for children, so it is important to make sure that they understand what is going on.
Benefits of Parallel Parenting:
- Each parent is able to raise the children in their own unique way
- No cooperation is needed between the parents, which can be beneficial if they do not get along
- Can be a good option for parents who have very different parenting styles
- The children’s needs are put first
- The boundaries are precise and set clear
Drawbacks of Parallel Parenting:
- Can lead to a lot of conflict between the parents if they live close to each other
- Children can be confused by the arrangement
- It can be difficult for the children to spend time with both parents on the same day
- Lack of Consistency between the homes
- Parenting plans may need to be revisited as the child grows
What is Co-Parenting?
Co-parenting involves both parents working together to raise their children even though they are no longer in a relationship. This type of parenting can be difficult, but it can also be very beneficial for children. Co-parenting often leads to better communication and more cooperation between the parents. It can also help to reduce conflict. Co-parenting is when both parents come together and agree on rules and boundaries for the sake of the children. This type of parenting requires a lot of communication and cooperation between both parents. The type of parenting you choose will depend on many factors, such as your relationship with your ex-partner, your parenting styles, and your children’s needs. If you are able to communicate and cooperate with your ex-partner, co-parenting might be the best possible parenting method for your little bundles of joys.
Benefits of Co-Parenting:
- There is more communication and cooperation between the parents
- It can help to reduce conflict
- The children’s needs are put first
- Both parents are involved in the child’s life
- The child has a consistent routine
Drawbacks of Co-Parenting:
- It can be difficult to communicate and cooperate with your ex-partner
- It can be time-consuming
- You might not agree on everything
How To Help Older Kids Adjust To Two Homes?
When kids grow up, their needs for affection start varying. They tend to feel more pressured due to all this schedule which is exactly why parents need to be adaptive and understanding of their hectic schedules. You should set a specific day/date for visitation and drop-offs so that they know what to expect. If your kids are too young, you might have to consider splitting up their time between the two households more evenly.
Older kids need more independence, so it is important to allow them to have some say in the parenting schedule. They should be able to choose which parent they want to spend more time with and when they want to see the other parent. You should also encourage them to keep in touch with the other parent through phone calls, text messages, or social media.
It is also important to remember that every child is different and will adjust to the situation in their own way. Some children might take longer to adjust than initially anticipated.
Which One Should You Choose?
The type of parenting you choose will depend on many factors, such as your relationship with your ex-partner, your parenting styles, and your children’s needs. If you are able to communicate and cooperate with your ex-partner, co-parenting might be the best possible parenting method for your little bundles of joys. If you are not able to communicate or cooperate with your ex-partner, parallel parenting might be a better option for you. Keep in mind that both types of parenting have their own benefits and drawbacks, so it is important to weigh all the pros and cons before making a decision.
Click here to learn about How to read the contraction monitor.